Romance at Heart: free romance reads, Chapter One of Bittersweet Memories by Mary Suzanne

Bittersweet Memories

Mary Suzanne

Chapter One

The flashing marquee lit the dark night as the limo slowed along the wind swept street. Renay lifted her head and glanced from the window toward the entrance of the theater. Her eyes narrowed slightly when she thought she recognized a man entering the building. It was nearly five years since he had disappeared from her life, so why would she imagine seeing Jake Savage now?

"What's bothering you, honey?" Jon asked softly, leaning across the leather seat toward her.

Renay glanced at him and silently wondered how he was able to pick up on any change in her mood. "Nothing,” she said, swallowing hard as her thoughts returned to Jake

She felt the unrest rushing through her again, the urge to cancel her singing engagement scheduled for that night. The thought that she might have seen Jake entering the building caused an eruption of strong emotions. He was in her past, and she didn't want to think about him now that she'd gotten over him.

After the driver parked the car, they entered the stage area of the auditorium. Her gaze shifted to the thousands of empty seats, and her apprehension mounted.

"Relax, sweetheart,” Jon said, reaching over to clasp her cold hand. "You’re ready for tonight, so you have nothing to worry about."

"I know, I'm just being silly,” she said huskily. If he only knew what her thoughts had been moments ago, he wouldn't be sounding so confident. As she turned and glanced at him, she forced a smile to her lips. "I'll see you in a little while."

"Okay,” he answered in a low tone as he studied her strained expression.

When she closed the door of her dressing room, her smile faded. She looked across the room to the lighted mirror on the table. No, she decided, she wasn't going to think about him again. She had to block any thought of Jake Savage from her mind if she wanted to perform on stage tonight.

Renay walked over to the padded chair and slumped wearily onto the cushion. There wasn’t much time until the show started, so she began applying her make up. She was hoping the activity would take her mind off brooding.

After finishing her make up, she slipped the black sequined dress on, zipping it in place. Her eyes ran the length of the sparkling gown reflected brightly in the mirror above the dressing table. The style showed her curvaceous figure to advantage, but didn't boost her confidence. The face staring back at her was strained and anxious.

Renay began applying a second coating of dark powder to her small nose and covered her lips with a bright gloss, hoping to hide the pale look lining her features. As she studied the results, she heard male voices in the hallway outside her dressing room. Walking over to the door, she cracked it an inch and peered through the small opening.

Her agent, Jon Sommers, was standing in the hallway talking to another man. She could only see a partial outline of the stranger as he stood in the shadows beneath stage scenery hanging overhead. There was something familiar about his facial outline, and as he turned and moved into the lighted area, her breath caught with a gasp. She'd been right all along. Iciness clutched her heart, and she felt the trembling spasms of shock weaken her legs.

Jake Savage stood only a few feet away.

Time hadn't changed Jake's rugged, handsome features, or the way he lifted his head in that proud tilt. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, stretching the material of his gray slacks tautly across his muscled thighs.

Renay quietly closed the door and leaned back against it, sighing deeply. She knew there was no way to block out the past as the bittersweet memories filled her thoughts. She closed her eyes tightly, but could still see Jake's dark, unlined face filling her mind's eye.

She slowly walked over to the stool and sat down again in front of the rounded mirror. What was Jake Savage doing here tonight? Why had he shown up on her first engagement in the small town where all her heartaches had begun? The questions pounded through her head to throb in her temples.

Staring moodily into the mirror, she studied her flawless, olive skin. She reached up and touched the long black hair that swept down her back in a thick mass. Had she changed much in the years since Jake went away? Not in appearance, but in other ways.

She'd become harder and didn't let many people break through the shell she'd built. No, she thought in frustration, she should have relied on her intuition and stayed away from these painful surroundings.

Slowly, her mind drifted to five years ago and how she'd met Jake Savage in her last year of high school. To her, he was all she'd ever dreamed of in a man. The heady excitement she experienced with Jake was her constant companion in those days, but that had soon vanished—along with her trust.

When they first met, Jake worked for a firm in Wisconsin. His twenty-six years to her eighteen only added to his sophistication. Like a projector running through her head, their first meeting came to mind, a spring day almost five years earlier.

In those days, she would take a cane pole with her and dangle it in the murky water lapping the shore of Lake Michigan. The peaceful surroundings became her favorite spot to spend the day. She’d sit quietly, listening to the rustling of the wind in the trees and the birds chirping overhead competing with the soft rock from her radio.

On that particular day, she didn’t hear anyone approaching her. "You'll never catch anything that way," she heard a husky voice from behind her say.

Glancing up, Renay could only stare at the virile looking man standing only a few feet behind her. A gust of wind blew through the trees, whipping a swatch of black hair across his forehead. She'd watched as he lifted his hand and brushed the wave aside.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, eventually finding her voice.

"The fish won't bite with all that noise,” he said jokingly, pointing to the radio.

"I'm not really trying to catch anything," she told him.

"Why do you bring a fishing pole with you?" He gave her an odd look.

"I don't believe it's any of your business," she told him as she gathered her radio and blanket and made a quick retreat toward the rocky incline leading to her home.

"Hold on a minute." She could still hear the husky voice calling out to her, but she ignored his shout and quickened her steps along the tree-shadowed path.

Renay remembered how he had run to catch up to her, carrying the cane pole with a small fish dangling on the end of the line.

"Thanks," she mumbled, jerking the pole from his outstretched hand. When she lifted her gaze to his face, she could still see the amusement showing in his black eyes.

"Why are you so irritated with me?" Suddenly, a grin curved his lips.

Renay looked at him, mesmerized by his smile. She silently wondered why she wasn’t being fair to him. “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t expecting anyone to join me today,” she said.

"Don't worry about it," he brushed her apology aside. "What about Charlie the tuna?" He pointed to the small fish still attached to her fishing line.

She took the fish and walked toward the water.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful?" he asked, his eyes following her movements to the grassy bank of the river.

She glanced back at him, and her face turned a light shade of red as she leaned over to place the fish in the water. When she straightened, she nervously ran her hand across her tight jeans. The stranger's dark gaze followed her every movement.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Renay McKensie."

"I'm Jake Savage," he introduced himself. "Do you live near here?"

"Just up the pathway," she said, her eyes traveling to the house on the hilltop.

"It's peaceful around here," he said as he walked alongside her. "I'm from Chicago, but I've been working in Wisconsin and living with my aunt for the last several months,” his words tapered off as they continued to climb the hilly terrain. "I had plans to leave this summer, but I'm not so sure that’s what I want to do now."

At the time Renay hadn't been certain of his meaning and wondered if he planned to stay in Wisconsin after meeting her. A thrill of pleasure raced through her. He'd made quite an impact on her in just a short time.

By the time they reached the house, she couldn't hide her flustered feelings. "It's been a pleasure talking to you, Mr. Savage," she said, extending her hand to him.

"Call me Jake." His lopsided grin caused her heart to beat out of control. "This isn't goodbye, is it?"

"It doesn't have to be," she answered. "I usually spend my afternoons by the lake."

"I'll see you tomorrow," he promised her as he turned away.

Renay watched him walk down the narrow pathway and disappear in the shroud of trees. She made her way toward her house with a smile lining her lips.

* * * *

Each day she looked forward to the afternoons and hurried to the lake to meet Jake. On the fourth day, after they had spent an hour talking, she invited him to her house. When they walked onto the screened patio, she noticed how his gaze did a quick inventory of the surroundings. Comfortable, padded chairs of dark leather lined one of the walls and her parent’s collection of antiques was in various spots around the room.

"Dad and Mom like to collect antiques," she told him.

"A worthwhile hobby," Jake remarked, walking over to look more closely at a vase.

"My father doesn't believe that I appreciate quality." Renay’s laugh filled the room. "He's especially critical of my taste in clothing."

"Now, that's where he's wrong." Jake smiled, his narrow glance resting on her shapely figure.

Renay could almost feel how flustered she had become. She wasn’t at all sophisticated enough to tell what he was thinking by his expression.

"Are you ready for that cold drink?" she asked, trying to calm her fluttering nerves.

If he'd noticed her anxious look, his gaze didn't register the fact. He placed his hand on her waist as they walked to the main part of the house.

As they entered the kitchen, the housekeeper was bending over the stove, removing a baking dish from the oven. "You're just in time for dinner," Sara commented, without looking up. When she did glance over her shoulder, her startled gaze rested on Jake. A frown swiftly covered her plump face.

"Sara, I want you to meet Jake Savage." Renay introduced him.

"Hello, Mr. Savage," Sara greeted him, in a cool tone. "We haven't met before, have we?"

"No, we haven't," he said evenly. "I just met Renay a few days ago."

"I see," was Sara's only response.

"Is there enough food for Jake, Sara?"

"Yes, I guess so," the older woman answered in a low tone.

Renay quickly turned away from Sara's disapproving look.

"If you're sure it won't be an inconvenience,” Jake said hesitantly as his dark eyes shifted to the housekeeper.

"No, it won't be any trouble," Sara answered, concentrating on carving the thick roast.

"Let's go into the living room." Renay reached for his hand. "Sara will let us know when dinner is ready."

Jake stayed until ten that night, and, as the evening wore on, Sara's attitude softened a little. The evening passed too swiftly for Renay, but before Jake left he promised to pick her up the following morning.

* * * *

The weather was idyllic that day for a picnic, with powder puff clouds against the backdrop of a blue sky. There was an assortment of food near them, on the thick blanket spread out on the ground. The wind was blowing a stiff breeze along the lakefront making the air feel moist and cool.

After touching on various subjects, Renay began opening up to Jake. Her secret ambition to become a singer wasn’t known to anyone, but she told him. It was something she had dreamed about for years.

She stopped talking. A self-conscious feeling settled over her, and she wondered what his thoughts were. She had been watching him, and he sensed her study.

"What's wrong?" He asked, turning toward her with a startling suddenness.

"Oh nothing,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“You must think I’m not paying any attention to what you said, but I’ve heard every word. If that’s what you want to do, you should go for it,” he said, but she didn’t pick up on any sound of encouragement. He changed the subject abruptly. "Sit over here," he invited, shifting to make a place on the edge of the quilt near him.

Renay moved across the blanket and found she was only inches from him. As she glanced up, she felt her eyes drawn to his. Before she knew his intentions, he was gently lowering her unresisting body to the quilt. A bright spark radiated from his eyes, sending a sensuous message to her.

"I've wanted to do this since the moment we first met," he whispered huskily as his lips dropped onto hers. His slow possession started as a caress, experimentally tasting the soft curves of her lips. What began as a gentle exploration soon blossomed into a hungry kiss devouring every inch of her mouth.

Renay's lips opened, receiving Jake's exploring kiss. "Oh," she murmured, as her passion slowly mounted. A thrill like nothing she'd ever experienced enveloped her. When he lifted his lips from her plundered mouth, Renay's eyes fluttered open in confusion. She saw a sleepy passion in his glazed stare, and an excitement stirred in her.

"I'm not going to apologize for kissing you," he admitted tenderly, his tone charged with a vibrant emotion. "I've never met a woman who makes me feel the way you do, Renay McKensie."

* * * *

From that moment, Renay's life existed for Jake. Each afternoon he would be waiting for her when she finished classes, and they spent as much time in each other's company as possible. Renay should have realized the warning signs, but she was too much in love to worry how seriously their relationship was developing. Jake coaxed her along, seducing her with words, but he never once told her that he loved her.

* * * *

Soon after graduation, Renay discovered she was pregnant. Her first thoughts turned to Jake. Would he be happy about the baby? She dialed his home phone number with shaking hands. "May I speak to Jake, please?" She recognized his aunt’s voice immediately.

"I'm sorry, Renay, but Jake left this morning and we don't expect him to visit again for some time."

"He left!" She said in a shocked voice. "Where did he go?" The sound of heartbreak was so strong in her tone that the other woman couldn’t have missed it.

"He received a better job offer in another state and had to leave suddenly," she said kindly. "He tried to call you this morning, but I can see he didn't have any luck in reaching you."

"No, I was out," Renay murmured dully. "Thank you.” She automatically replaced the receiver. A trapped feeling settled over her knowing how upset her parents were going to be.

Fate intervened making it unnecessary for her to tell her parents her problem. The elder McKensie’s were on a flight home from a business trip when their plane crashed ten minutes after takeoff. Life became almost unbearable for Renay with her grief and the constant worry over the baby. Sara was very supportive in her troubled period, encouraging her to find Jake to tell him about the baby. This was the only conflict they ever had. Renay always refused. She had a proud streak, and nothing Sara said could change it. Jake had left her without giving her a thought, and she doubted he would return for the baby's sake.

With Sara's coaxing, they moved to the northern part of Wisconsin to wait for the birth of her child. Sara eventually gave up trying to convince her that she should tell Jake and went along with her plans to have her baby on her own.

Bitterness filled Renay for most of the nine months, replacing her former cheerful attitude toward life. She'd been abandoned by the man to whom she had given her heart and soul.

When her son, Tyler, was born, she spent every waking hour caring for him. She delighted in just looking at his perfectly chiseled features and bright black eyes, always watching her when she picked him up to change or feed.

As time slipped by, she decided to give her ambition of singing a try. With Sara's help in caring for Tyler, she resumed her career. She surrounded herself in a sophisticated, hard shell. The only time she let down her barriers was with her son and Sara.

Meeting Jon Sommers was just what Renay needed. Jon was a talent agent, bright and energetic. He thrived on his work in the entertainment field. When he heard Renay singing at one of the local nightclubs, he knew she was destined for stardom.

Through Jon's perseverance and dedication, Renay became a talented entertainer, bringing crowds to their feet for standing ovations. The long haul had been rough, but eventually she was at the top.

Jon treated Renay with a gentle kindness. She knew that one day he hoped to break through the icy barrier that surrounded her heart, but he didn't pressure her. He had accepted her son, never prying into her background or the circumstances of her earlier life.

Until this moment, Renay had begun to feel alive again, but with Jake's reappearance the feeling was rapidly leaving. All her old doubts and uncertainties returned in full force.

She brought her wandering thoughts back to the present as she continued to stare into the mirror, letting the past slip to the back of her thoughts, where she intended to keep them.

A sharp knock on the door brought her head around quickly. "Yes," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Renay," Jon called, "are you about ready? Ten minutes to show time."

She walked to the door and opened it reluctantly. Her gaze swept the long hallway and relief flooded through her when she saw that Jon was alone.

"You look sensational," he said. "Come on, where's that smile?"

"Thanks for the compliment," she answered, giving him a halfhearted grin.

He leaned close to her and his warm lips dropped a light kiss along her creamy neckline. "You'll knock'em dead tonight," he told her as a glowing twinkle filled his brown eyes. "I'll meet you backstage after the performance."

He released her and turned toward the long hallway. Renay stood near the door watching him as he walked away. His boyish features lit up with a smile as he stopped to speak to one of the stagehands working on the set. Renay realized in that instant that she could always depend on Jon. He had always been there for her.

She closed the door and walked over to the mirror for another look at her appearance. Satisfied that she had managed to hide some of the paleness of her features, she gathered up her courage and made her way to the door.

As she walked through the curtained stage area, she felt her legs becoming weak. Jake Savage might be in the audience tonight, watching her every movement. She stopped for a second until she felt the support of Jon's hand spanning her waist in a gesture of reassurance.

"What's the matter?" he asked, in confusion. "Your face is still pale even with all the make up you have on."

"I'll be all right," she murmured, although her voice held a quivery note.

At the end of the stage, he removed his hands and stood behind a protective curtain. Looking back, she saw the puzzled frown returning to his face. He gave her the thumbs up gesture, encouraging her with his presence.

As soon as she appeared in the spotlight, she swayed with a sensuous grace in her tight gown. A roar of applause filled the packed room to deafening proportions and blotted out all thoughts of Jake.

A warm smile curved her lips as thousands of fans chanted her name. Reaching for the microphone, Renay looked over her shoulder to make sure the accompanying singers were ready to begin.

As soon as the roaring noise subsided, she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue and lifted the microphone to her mouth. "Good evening.” She greeted the crowd in a husky voice. "I hope everyone enjoys the concert tonight." After her introductory speech, the music rose in the background and Renay began singing one of her latest hits.

As she completed each number, the clapping of the crowd rose to a loud crescendo. The performance was showing every sign of being a brilliant success. After the last song, she did several encores before finally escaping to the dark area of the stage. Jon was waiting for her with open arms.

"You were wonderful," he beamed, drawing her close to his chest.

"Thanks," she said, adrenaline flowing through her veins.

Suddenly, they weren’t alone. Her gaze lifted and traveled across the long hallway and her features stiffened as the smile faded from her face. A flush slowly mounted her cheeks.

Jake Savage stood leaning against the wall in a negligent pose, but Renay could see through his relaxed front. The tension was building in his expression and the sharp glint in his dark, brooding stare sent a shiver racing through her.

Renay glanced away from Jake and gave her full attention to Jon. She purposely moved her lips across Jon's with a feather-light stroke. She wanted Jake to realize that his presence tonight wasn't disturbing her. In reality, she was a quivering mass of nerves at just the sight of him.

"I promised one of my friend's I'd bring you to his party after the concert," Jon told her, bending his head close to hers.

"Oh you didn’t mention it before,” she said, keeping her head tilted at an angle as they passed Jake in the hall.

"I just found out," he said, stopping suddenly and reaching for her arm, "Hold on a minute, I'd like you to meet someone."